He is not a 'Babygirl', he's a bastard.

please stop making cute fancams for terrible men, just be normal for a second.

Apr 14, 2023

BabyGirl-ism: What the hell is it, and who the hell has it?

(a thorough and optional introduction)

Babygirl - an affectionate slang term (likely AAVE) and form of address for fem-presenting individuals. It is often used to describe someone who’s cute or lovely in nature.

We have heard the term used at some point in our lives, and is often met with a mixture on emotions. For some people, it’s a pet-name (affectionate name used within couples or close friends). For others, it’s a word that has felt infantilizing and restricts their agency.

However, the word has morphed a lot within popular culture, like the word’s adoption into a nickname for beloved musical artist Aaliyah, and has since made a reversal from being a predominantly man-used term to a universally-used one online and has become “everything-blind”:

Jessica Day from ‘New Girl’? Babygirl.
Oscar Isaac? Babygirl.
Girly Teengirl of Farawayville fame from Spongebob? Babygirl.
BMO from Adventure time? Babygirl.

While it seems a bit random (and it is), there seems to be unofficial rules on what is and isn’t eligible to be called ‘babygirl’. We’re only going to be talking about the ‘masculine’ ones here.

‘Masculine’ Babygirls and their traits are divided into 2 types: the loser and the child:

The ‘Loser’ model includes personality traits like poor social skills, terrible luck, lack of self-esteem, but is balanced with redeemable moments within their shy or gritty personalities, and is just…a loser, like what else can you really describe it as?

Steven Grant in ‘Moon Knight’ — played by Oscar Isaac, a normal guy all-around.

The ‘Child’ model has less to do with age, and more to do with the traits we percieve as ‘childish’: poor impulse control, extreme excitement over anything, very social, and is often given the image of a happy-go-lucky man who is innocent of all mistakes because of ‘pure’ intentions.

Ted Lasso in ‘Ted Lasso’ — played by marriage dropout and child-support avoider (and alleged sex pest and revenge porn leaker) Jason Sudeikis.

Most don’t fit in either type totally, and some are said ironically to ‘successful’ or attractive, masculine men (such as Ghost from Call of Duty, or Aaron Taylor Johnson).

But there’s a common thing that happens to all men labelled Babygirl: a permanent innocence. As soon as a man is given that name, they are no longer able to be questioned, held accountable, or be criticized, no matter how valid the concerns are. The word becomes a weapon that recycles victim-blaming rhetoric and ‘not all men’ talking points. The problem with this is obvious: not all men are good people. not all good men stay good. and some bad men are never good to begin with.

The infantilization (or “smol bean”-ification) of men and the characters they play have real-world effects on how victims are caught in the web of fabricated trust, are listened to by the public and fans alike, and whether their bravery is lost in the ‘mist of sadness’ by yet another man being disappointing. He’s not a babygirl. he’s a bastard.

How to Die and Still Get Away with Murder

Like does the parasocial relationship feel THAT good?

Whenever a celebrity is exposed to be problematic, there is one sentence that is repeated in every conversation: Judge the artist, not the art. When musical artists are outed as sexual predators and abusers, people are desperate to save their Spotify playlists instead of making a moral decision to hold off support. While I wouldn’t ever want to listen to men’s voices who have traumatized and hurt people, I cannot control your personal opinion. If the song does that much for you, I cannot take the illegal MP3 file out of your phone. When an actor is outed, I cannot take your obsession with the character away from you. I cannot stop your own internal infatuation with Greg Kirsch (‘Succession’ actor Nicholas Braun was recently revealed to be a sexual predator who tried and has had sex with multiple underaged girls at Coachella). You’re still a bad person, but at least you have enough shame to keep it to yourself.

Who I do have the biggest problem with is those that knowingly continue to consume and parade characters played by these people. When Kevin Spacey was accused of sexual contact with a minor, many were rallying to keep him in House of Cards. Rob Lowe has a sex tape with a 16-year old (which he said was “the best thing to ever happen to him”) but is still viewed as an American Heartthrob due to his appearance in ‘Parks and Recreation’ as Chris Traeger. These characters become the new identity of these actors, and this is only amplified by stan twitter and a show’s fanbase. Fancams become propaganda to these people, who use these edits to further condition themselves and others into only associating these people as vague interpretations of what they want them to be view them as: head-canoned bisexuals with ADHD (please leave my community in peace), a sexy, successful all-american man with a Meg Thee Stallion song underneath, a goober with no social skills and a ‘likeness’ towards a sanrio character. You’re aiding in the exoneration of men and their actions when you do this. The character is what created the likability of the person. The character created the attachment between the actor and the victim. The character is the door wedge that will continue to let people get away with shit.

When Amber Heard was torn-up by the internet and media in 2021 and 2022 (despite winning the previous UK trial and Depp being found Guilty on muiltple charges on top of being actual friends with pedophiles), what was under every single post calling for Johnny Depp’s arrest and removal from his position in Hollywood? Fancams. People using Jack Sparrow lines. We are reliving these events every day with a new man with a new PR push. Why else does Brad Pitt (who was accused of domestic violence against Angelina Jolie and abusing his children last year, who DO actually hate him btw) suddenly have big hollywood stars shouting him out at an awards ceremony?

*no the fuck we don’t, BOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATOO*

People have found the golden template to escape public and judicial persecution:

Make the man an icon, Make the woman disappointingly human, Make money out of the whole ordeal and use it to silence women.

Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, and Harvey Weinstein have the same supposed PR team: a team that has sucessfully used victim-blaming and attempting to turn the events of their abusive behavior into one-sided memeable moments for you to turn into twitter hashtags, catchphrases, and bios. I remember the cocaine bump court tweets, I remember y’all calling Angelina unbearable and an unloving mother, I remember y’all calling Ted Lasso too sweet to ever neglect his own kids. And the scary thing? They’re paying some of these people to spoonfeed this content to you. They’re willingly becoming part of the system that silences victims for like...$20. All this on top of the thirst tweets, the smol-baby posts, the male-audience podcast appearances (Shia LaBeouf i hope you suffer every day of your life), these all become free PR for the actor to distract from current conversations and from calling him everything than what he is alleged to be: a rapist, an abuser, a sex pest. But you knew that already, didn’t you?

Well, you and Babygirl can both go to HELL.

Hi, this is Riel, the writer and person you’ve been imagining the voice of over the past 5-10 minutes. I know this might seem like an angry place to end, but this is really the reality we face at the moment. We’re no longer in a war against evil people, we’re in a war of image and reputation. Aesthetics matter just as much as accusations, which is scary. The only way to continue progress is to understand the extent our online activity plays in further these narratives that powerful men and their multi-million dollar teams are spinning. I am going to link multiple articles and threads highlighting victims and their stories here and under the tweet you probably used to see this article. I’ll also be updating based on your feedback and additional info provided. I’m not sure if I’ll make a Part 2, but I know this is something that I really need to speak on. The next article should be lighter (both in subject matter and length). Thank you for reading and take care.

If you are in the US and currently in an abusive relationship or need help, please call 800-799-7233 (National Domestic Violence Hotline), visit victimconnect.org, and contact to community or local officials.